I have been like a dry well in my spiritual life recently.  I have been extra focused on the daily living and the coming baby that much has been neglected.  Many have said that when you first turn your day over to God, He will give you the time you need to acomplish the important tasks.  I dare not say taht I have not found this to be true but it still seems like there is more acomplished when I set aside that time only for the brief 5 minutes before bed.  However, the sweet communication between a Friend so near and dear begins to fade like the day.  Each task still comes up anew each day and my life seems less meaningful.  I question my vocation, I question my purpose in life, I question life itself.  Where is God?  He has not left me… I have left Him.  Does a bride leave her groom at the alter?

The road is long and weary.  I cannot deny this fact.  But God has not promised a sweet meadow and cushioned feet.  Christian had fallen into that snare in Pilgrims Progress.  The wonderful meadow proved to be death to all that enjoyed it. The snare of being too content, to well satisfied, but not satisfied. 

So, I trudge along, knowing that I should get up earlier, make more time for Him that has given me all time, and my life.  But the old same old story comes, You get up and see something out of place and put it away and then your whole day is filled with cleaning up messes and wiping dirty faces and counters. 

I sing hymns to keep me going through the day.  But I remember how much more meaningful those hymns meant when I would think of a particular one after reading a chapter in the Bible, or a devotion.  Quite often I find myself humming, “One Thing’s Needful, Lord this Treasure”.    I can hear that gentle rebuke, Martha, Martha. 

So is what I am doing so unecessary? So pitiful? So unworthy of my attention?  Not at all! Or as Paul said, God forbid! We are called to do this! We are called to scrub the dishes, wipe the faces, vaccum the carpets, do the errands, etc.  But when it becomes a question of, “Why”? Or “Is there any purpose in life?” It is time to dust the cover of the tear stained, blood stained Bible and repent. 

It is during these times that I remember,
Down the pilgrim road I have tread;
Forgetting my constant companion,
I knelt and said,
“God why hast Thou forsaken me?”

A peirced hand was on my shoulder
A voice I knew too well said to me;
“My friend,  since when dist thy heart turn colder,
Or when did you forget who died for thee?”

“Tis not that I have left thee,
But the cares of the present time has thrust itself forth
But thou in thy worries hast forgotten Me,
And forgotten the Pilgrim course.”

Oh what faithful wounds from a Friend,
The reminder of Truth and constancy,
Our fellowship is now amend.
and blissful life for eternity.

I may have forgotten His constancy but He has always been there.  I have taken His presence for granted.  I cling to the old rugged cross wherein is inscribed,
“If we confess our sins, He is faithful and righteousness to forgive our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.”